Is it burnout?

I hear you

It's not just that never-ending fatigue and loss of motivation. It’s also the confusion of what is happening to you. It’s the rise of trying different methods to get better, and the fall after. It’s the quest for answers and finally, the acknowledgment that you might have it. And then it’s the feeling of being alone in it, and the fear of opening up.

I know, because I’ve been there myself

A few years back, I was going through a phase where life just demanded too much from me on all fronts. I was a new mother, I had to deal with bullies at work, I was going through a divorce, I had the social crash around the covid lockdowns, I was giving my all to a highly demanding job, I was avoiding my emotions having them completely blocked, and I was moving houses.

I was gaining weight, and having digestive problems, but most importantly I was waking up already tired and felt no motivation for anything, and days felt like I was running around and from myself, looking for distractions. I would be constantly worried and run what-ifs scenarios in my head. Sometimes I would find myself staring into emptiness, not doing anything but not relaxing either.

I noticed I was becoming forgetful. I'd misplace my keys, forget appointments, and forget conversations. My focus started slipping, and I was sometimes unable to process even simple tasks.

Then came the emotional symptoms. I began to feel detached and disconnected from my work, my friends, and even myself. Things I once loved felt tedious. I was increasingly irritable, snapping at colleagues over trivial matters.

I was in a constant fight-or-flight mode, which affected my relationships and made me even more tired.

But all in all, I remember that it started with small things. All these symptoms crept in slowly, leaving me unaware and then confused about what is actually happening.

The worst part? I felt guilty for feeling this way. I kept pushing myself harder, trying to prove that I was okay, that I could handle it all.

One day, while reading an article (much like this one), I recognized myself in the description of burnout.

Every line resonated with me, every symptom matched what I was feeling. That's when it hit me: I was burned out. And it wasn't just the job or the move or the divorce - it was all of it, the entire crushing weight of change and loss and pressure that had worn me down to the point of burnout.

Even though it was a relief to finally have a name for what I was feeling, I found myself hesitating to share my experience with friends and family. After all, how do you explain to your loved ones that you're not just tired, but 'burned out'? It's not a simple concept, and I worried that they'd brush it off as me being overly dramatic or just needing a vacation.

When I finally gathered the courage to talk about it, I faced a range of reactions. Some were supportive, offering a listening ear and understanding. Others, despite their best intentions, were dismissive or suggested simplistic solutions like "just take a break" or "work less". It made me feel misunderstood and, to some extent, guilty for not being able to 'snap out of it'.

This experience taught me two valuable lessons. First, opening up about burnout is not easy, but it's a crucial part of the healing process. Keeping feelings bottled up only exacerbates the stress and isolation. Second, those on the receiving end of this revelation may not always know how to respond. It's not necessarily because they don't care; they might just lack the understanding of what burnout truly means.

So let’s talk about burnout

If you are here, it’s because you need answers.

Answers to what is actually happening to you. And the final answer to “Is it really burnout?” And then what?

If Burnout was a movie villain, it wouldn’t be the kind that jumps out of a corner. Instead, it tiptoes in slowly, often going unnoticed until it's too late. Let's go detective mode and talk about how to spot it.

Generally, burnout symptoms are split into three categories - physical, emotional, and behavioral.

Physical Symptoms

• Chronic fatigue: You're tired. All. The. Time.

• Insomnia: Counting sheep doesn't help anymore.

• Persistent headaches or muscle pain: Aches and pains become your unwanted housemates.

• Changes in appetite or digestion: Your favorite foods may not seem appetizing, or your stomach is constantly upset.

Emotional Symptoms

• Sense of failure: You feel like you're dropping the ball more often than not.

• Feeling helpless: You're stuck in quicksand, and you can't seem to find a way out.

• Detachment: It's like watching life from behind a glass wall.

• Lost spark: Motivation? Interest? Can't seem to remember what those words mean.

Behavioral Symptoms

• Dodging responsibilities: You've become an expert in the art of "I'll do it later."

• Isolation: You're in a self-imposed exile from others.

• Procrastination: It takes forever to get tasks done.

• Unhealthy coping: Food, alcohol, or drugs become your new comfort zone.

Or in other words, this is how your life might look like:

Burnout at Work

Work becomes a war zone when burnout hits. You dread workdays, simple tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest, and patience with colleagues or customers is thinner than a sheet of paper. Productivity takes a nosedive, and you might find yourself calling in sick more often or even considering a career change.

Burnout in Personal Life

Burnout doesn't clock out when you do. It follows you home, creating friction in your relationships and making hobbies feel like chores. Basic self-care tasks start falling by the wayside. You might skip meals, skimp on sleep, or even pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Burnout and Your Health

Burnout isn't just a state of mind - it can also meddle with your physical health. Prolonged stress can lead to problems like headaches, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances, which can pave the way for more serious health concerns like heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Let's not forget mental health; burnout can open the door to depression, anxiety, and increased risk of substance abuse disorders.

Remember, everyone's experience is unique, and symptoms can vary or evolve over time.

Confirming the hunch

So you've read through all this and there's a little voice in your head saying "This sounds like me!" But, how can you be sure it's burnout and not just a rough time? Good news: professionals have tools to help confirm whether your unwelcome guest is indeed burnout.

Often, the process starts with a thorough conversation with a mental health professional or your primary care physician about your symptoms and experiences. They might use questionnaires like the Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), the gold standard for measuring burnout, which asks about feelings of exhaustion, cynicism, and professional efficacy. There are also other scales such as the Copenhagen Burnout Inventory (CBI), which focuses on personal, work-related, and client-related burnout.

In some cases, your healthcare provider may suggest blood tests or other examinations to rule out other conditions with similar symptoms, like depression or a thyroid disorder. Remember, self-diagnosis is a risky business, so if you suspect you're dealing with burnout, do reach out to a healthcare professional.

Inside the Burnout Machinery

So, what's happening inside your body when you're burning out?

Let's picture our body as a super-smart, ultra-efficient, and incredibly intricate machine, complete with its own built-in alarm system - the "fight or flight" response.

So, you're faced with a stressor - maybe it's a major work presentation or an overflowing inbox. Your body thinks it's a saber-toothed tiger (yep, our bodies are still partying like it's 10,000 BC) and fires off the alarm. Here's where our main players, adrenaline and cortisol, step in.

Adrenaline is like that super-enthusiastic friend who amps up the energy in the room. It increases your heart rate, boosts your energy supplies, and spikes your blood pressure - all designed to help you either battle that tiger or run away from it at Usain Bolt speed.

Now, let's meet cortisol, the 'keep calm and carry on' hormone. Cortisol curbs functions that would be nonessential in a fight or flight situation (like your immune response and digestive system), fires up your brain's fear center and taps into your energy reserves to keep you fueled up. All in all, it's trying to maintain as much balance as it can in the middle of this emergency.

This duo does a fantastic job when the stress is short-lived - you dodge the tiger (or ace the presentation), the danger passes, and the alarm switches off. But what happens when the tiger is your everyday life, constantly pacing and growling? This is where we enter the burnout zone.

With burnout, the 'danger' is continuous. Your alarm stays on, and the adrenaline and cortisol keep flowing. This isn't just tiring (like listening to a car alarm that won't quit); it's like a system overload that can disrupt just about all your body's processes.

Adrenaline, in excess, can lead to a feeling of constant edginess and an inability to relax or sleep well. It can also wreak havoc on your cardiovascular system, causing increased blood pressure and heart rate, which, over time, can lead to heart diseases.

Cortisol, our 'keep calm and carry on' hormone, when continuously high, can mess up your digestion, lead to weight gain, and even impair your immune system, making you more susceptible to illnesses. On the emotional side, it can leave you feeling anxious, jittery, and excessively worried about the future.

In short, constant fight or flight isn't just exhausting - it's harmful. Our bodies aren't designed to be in a perpetual state of emergency. That's why recognizing the signs of burnout and taking action is so important. It's about turning off the alarm, stepping away from the tiger, and giving our bodies the all-clear.

Burnout might be a tricky opponent, but understanding how it operates is a significant step toward defeating it. Remember, it's not about completely eliminating stress but learning how to manage it.

So now what?

You’ll find many solutions online. And in any case, I’d advise you to consult a therapist or doctor too.

My approach to it is stemming from holistic health. Anything from herbal supplements, to gentle movement, to specific meditations, and connecting more with nature.

These would be, for example, supplements like Schisandra, Tulsi, Reishi, and Passionflower, gentle movements from QiGong, meditations like Being In Your Safe Space, hikes, saunas, cold exposures, and many more.

I’m going to start launching here some online programs, like Gentle Reset, and some dedicated burnout retreats here at this beautiful villa in the mountains next to Barcelona.

If you have anything in mind regarding this, please reach out to me via the form below. I’d be happy to help and support you on the journey back to a calm and exciting life.